Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Perfect End to 2008...

I can't believe I forgot to tell you about my harrowing experience just before the New Year. The wife and I went out for some drinks for her friend's birthday on the Saturday after Christmas. All was well until the drive home, when I picked up a watermelon-sized nail in my tire, which promptly started to go flat on the highway. It was 1:00 AM. I was on an overpass at the time and pulled over to the right to check it out. The flat tire, unfortunately, was on the front driver's side, on the traffic side, and there was no way I could get to it without getting squashed by oncoming cars. So, I had to call a tow truck to tow me home, which took FOREVER. I didn't fall into bed until 5:00 AM. I was so pissed off!

So, this leads me a new item added to my goals of 2009: 'change a tire on my car.' You see, in all my ten years of driving, I've never actually put on a spare. I've not even had a flat tire before. This adventure reminded me of my specific shortcoming in auto maintenance skills, and it was time to fill in my knowledge gaps.

Don't get me wrong. I've seen A Christmas Story. I understand the fundamentals of changing a tire. So when I woke up the next morning, I was full of vim and vigor, eager to learn this new skill. Here's what we started with:


And here's what we ended up with:


My first tire change! So, in honor of this crowning achievement, I'm adding this to my Goals of 2009 list retroactively, and then crossing it off. I don't care that it technically occurred in 2008, I'm doing it anyway. I've also added another key knowledge area of auto maintenance to the list: change the oil in my car. Nope, haven't ever done that one, either. Wonder when I'll get to that...

-Sailor Matt

6 comments:

marky said...

A melon size nail!?!! I fear any nail that size. There's a movie in that. Kind of like Attack of the killer tomatoes, but with nails.... ok, it won't work, but I still fear the melon-nail!

WV: proging, as in prog rockers weekends away.

P.S, if you don't learn basic car maintenance soon, I'll inform the bloke union, and have you female-ised!

Sailor Matt said...

Well, I do drive a VW Jetta, which is already one strike against my masculinity. The bloke union's been after me for years.

As for the melon-sized nail, it was less like my tire caught a nail in it, and more like the nail caught a little tire in it.

Don't sell yourself short on your movie idea. If they can make High School Musical 3, they can make a movie about killer nails.

Fe2O3 said...

Matt -
Don't forget that the bloke union has been watching Navy-men ever since that unfortunate Village People song...

Sorry to hear about the flat, but what better way to start off your new year list than with a 1 in the W column. Changing tires and oil are things I know how to do, but try to avoid doing them myself if I can help it. I just have many other fun and interesting things that I'd rather do instead.

wv: pocchipi - The pork industry's answer to the popularity of the Fish-n-chip shop.

Sailor Matt said...

The sad thing is, I'm very mechanically inclined. I repaired electronic and mechanical systems in the Navy for ten years. Just never handled a car jack and lug nuts before.

Yeah, the Village People didn't do us sailors any favors...

Fe2O3 said...

Exactly Matt, missile guidance systems are a lot more fun than tires and lug nuts!

logankstewart said...

This post reminds me that my car hasn't started since before Thanksgiving, which is something I should definitely remedy as soon as humanly possible. However, as an absolute car idiot, I'll have to have someone else do it for me. Argh! If only they could make them to where they didn't have problems!