I don't mean to imply that Michigan is dull, or that my visits back home to Saginaw are in any way boring. Quite the contrary, I usually have a frolicking good time. For example, I chanced to cross paths with this creepy individual, who was attempting to lure kids away from their parents with candy at the time...
The next day, I came across a parade of the ugliest children I had ever seen. But they were cheerful enough, which lightened the mood...
Finally, my Michigan adventure ended with an encounter with this individual, which I can only guess is the product of some Upper Peninsula genetic cross-over...
To be honest, however, I must admit that some of my experiences may have been influenced by the ruby water of Michigan's most elite in Italian dining: Olive Garden. Their red sangria is to die for, and their clientele is very upper-crust.
In retrospect, I must say that I will always have a fondness for Michigan in my heart. They suffer six months of winter snow, and their economy is in the pooper, but it's not such a bad place, in all.
But I'm still moving to Dallas when I get out.
-Sailor Matt
*It has yet to be proven that wild wolverines live, or have ever lived, in Michigan.
4 comments:
I googled Michigan wolverine.
Check this out! It's from 2004.
DETROIT - A biologist has confirmed the sighting of a real Michigan wolverine, about 200 years after the species was last seen in the state that uses the small but ferocious animal as its unofficial nickname.
Coyote hunters spotted a wolverine near Ubly, about 90 miles north of Detroit. Michigan Department of Natural Resources wildlife biologist Arnie Karr saw the forest predator Tuesday and snapped pictures of the animal as it ran out of the woods and across a field.
The wolverine, a member of the weasel family that grows to about 25 pounds but is ferocious enough to fight off bears and wolves, once ranged across the northern and western United States. It is now limited mostly too northern Canada, Idaho and Alaska, with sightings in a few other states, but its last confirmed sightings in Michigan were by fur traders in the late 1700s and early 1800s.
The dirty wee weasel has been hiding all this time. I say you forget about your Dallas plans and start obsessively hunting down wolverines. And when you get them all, you should turn your attention to big foot. That big swine has been taking the mick for years now!
"Their red sangria is to die for, and their clientele is very upper-crust."
Yup. You can totally tell it's were all the posh people go. LOL!
In Scotland they would throw you out a restaurant for that. Drinking all the bevy is frowned upon.
Whoa, great article! It certainly is an elusive little bastard, eh?
My secret plans are to hunt down the mythical jackalope across the Great Plains of Texas. After that, Big Foot is definitely next on my list. From there, I'd considered searching for the man in Michigan that is fabled to have a stable job, but that's a bit far fetched, even for me...
Wolverines and bigfoot are all good and well, my friends. Yet I have a mind for bigger game.
Behold...
The Ninki-Nanka
Ten thousand pounds of pure corded muscle and boundless rage, vicious fangs a half-metre long and the cold, dead eyes of a predator.
Marky, we'll need rope and a spear.
Ishmae-I mean Sailor Matt, commandeer a vessel some three furlongs in length and find us a tyrannical captain who is driven by a monomaniacal desire to kill Ninki-Nanka, the dragon that maimed him on his last dragoning voyage.
I'll bring da wenches and beer.
We set sail for high seas and adventure on the morrow!
Gentlemen, to evil...
That's it! THAT'S my purpose on this mortal earth! To hunt down and kill the Ninki-Nanka... The graphical rendition provided by your link is genius. We leave at high tide, Cap'n!
I recommend we pirate the first cruise ship we cross on the journey. The food and drink is great, and we can shanghai a few aristocrats as deckhands.
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